If you’ve been on the Internet in the last half year, there’s a good chance you’ve heard of Bryan Johnson, the multi-millionaire who has so far spent over $2 million in an attempt to de-age himself.
According to Bloomberg, Johnson aims to have the “brain, heart, lungs, liver, kidneys, tendons, teeth, skin, hair, bladder, penis, and rectum of an 18-year-old.”
He also takes a number of medicines and supplements, and for a while received blood transfusions from his 17-year-old son.
Now he appears to be focusing on the penis side of things, tweeting in August that he had “Started penis rejuvenation protocol today,” adding, “Coming soon; just not too soon.” Later in the month he supplied the details, and we do mean details.
Johnson monitors everything from his bowels and his body fat, to his nocturnal erections, sometimes posting the results to X (the site still currently known to most as Twitter).
According to an update from Johnson, the “penis rejuvenation therapy” is focused shockwave therapy. The therapy sends sound waves through the penile tissue in an attempt to encourage blood flow. There is some evidence that low-intensity shockwave therapy can improve erectile function in people with vasculogenic erectile dysfunction (where blood flow into the penis is narrowed or partially blocked). However, Johnson is using it somewhat “off-label”.
“We are testing whether it improves total time nighttime erections, subjective sexual performance, sexual satisfaction, and medical imaging-based penile markers,” he explained on X.
The therapy, when used for its designed purpose, is not without its drawbacks, and some would question whether it is worth the risk when his penis has usual function for somebody his age.
“Adverse effects may include penile skin bruising, hematoma, hematuria, infection of penile skin, painful erection,” one review of the therapy noted, “and difficulty having intercourse secondary to infection or pain”.
“Aug monthly notes will include the shockwave therapy for penis rejuvenation which may require a di*k pic,” Johnson threatened. “Just sayin’.”
